…and J Makes Three

I am sitting at my kitchen table, having cleaned up the breakfast crumbs and carved out space for my laptop and notepads from the heaps of stuff accumulated from party bags and school bags. It is never ending. Every time I clear it, it’s back the next day. How and why do children accumulate so much stuff?

It is a Saturday, which means it is my day. The day the children are with their dad. 9-6, meaning nine whole hours for me. Except it’s not for me is it?

It’s a day for doing laundry…the excitement of having two loads already out on the line (first one almost completely dry), and a third small load spinning in the machine, is unreal. It is good to know that I am an adult in some ways at least.

It’s a day for clearing away toys, washing up, meal planning, cleaning the bathroom.

It’s a day for trying to maximise my time whilst also making sure I actually eat and get some rest.

More recently, it’s also become a day to work. Starting back up again from scratch as a freelance writer is taking some getting used to. It’s overwhelming trying to juggle three children with their school and nursery runs, clubs and parties, alongside keeping a clean and tidy home and building a business. The tidy home has certainly fallen by the wayside…but I have three young children and it’s just me. There’s toys and books everywhere, discarded clothes, piles of clean laundry that need to be put away, boxes still to unpack from our move 7 months ago. Adding a business to that equation? Well.

I am lucky (or unlucky some might say) to be on Universal Credit. Now that my youngest is 3, I am required to work 30 hours a week. That is an impossibility right now. Some might say I’m just being lazy, or not trying hard enough…but the fact is I would love to be out at work. I would love to be earning money for my family, to not be reliant on government handouts. But it’s not as simple as that.

My eldest two are at school, and my youngest currently does two days of nursery a week, term time only. Their dad has them, but cannot be relied upon…his work takes priority to him, so when they ask him to change his hours or take on some overtime, he will say yes. He cannot be relied upon to have them consistently whilst I am out at work. I don’t have family nearby to help with regular, consistent childcare, meaning evenings are also out of the question for me. I have school hours on a Tuesday and Wednesday, and that is it…and that is only during term time. I would have to be earning a lot to cover childminders before/after school, and finding childcare for the three year old during the holidays is…tricky. So I am stuck.

When I left university, I was a freelance writer. I did ok with it money wise, although if I’d actually put the effort in to build a brand and find better clients, I would have done so much better. It sort of fizzled out when I took on a part time job alongside it, which then became full time hours, and then I became pregnant with my eldest. I had no time, and I had no energy. It was always something I wanted to return to though.

Now is my time. I say time…I am struggling to find enough of it, and I certainly don’t have the energy. But now is the opportunity to get it done. To really put in the effort and make a go of it so that I can best support my family, and to actually return to doing something I love!

So, here goes. Wish me luck.